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Story Board

I was going to let the rain decide. I wasn’t brave enough to make the decision on my own. What was right was clouded over by fear. I was lost.

I chose two raindrops. The left one meant yes and the right one meant no. Whichever would reach the bottom of the window first, that would be my answer.

I sat on my knees and concentrated on the droplets. I followed them down. They didn’t fall straight, they swerved, they zigzagged sometimes they dropped fast. Yes was in the lead, then no then yes. I set my whole brain to concentrate on the drops. Every inch of me was following them. My eyes started to hurt I was straining them so hard.

And suddenly it all went wrong. I couldn’t see if yes was yes or if yes was just plain water. No had come to a stop in the middle of other drops. I couldn’t tell who he was. "Shit" I thought. There was my decision, somewhere amongst a myriad of tear-shaped water. That’s where the answer was. The answer was lost.

And I went outside to try and make sense of it all. The sense never came but the rain did stop. I no longer had any raindrops to chase, just my own indecision ran round in my head. Like a dog chasing his tail. Round and round and round and round. I wondered what would happen if I climbed up on this wall and jumped into the water. Not as an attempt to kill myself, just as an attempt to stop thinking, hurting, wondering, worrying. But if I did, that would just create a whole batch of other problems rather than bring a solution to the one I had now.

Although the feeling of cold, icy water slapping the life out of me felt welcoming. I walked on.

And I wasn’t sure if you deserved it. But I drove really far to find these. The flowers that you like, the red ones with the name I can never remember but when I see them I know that’s them. I placed them on the floor next to your bed whilst you were sleeping. And then I left. But I did have a look at your face. Your eyes were puffy, your skin was blotched with red stains, your hair was soaked. You looked terrible and I was thankful that you were finally able to get some sleep. I hoped rest would do you good. I hoped you had stopped crying. I hope to come back. I’ll stay longer next time. But for now enjoy the flowers. I hope you do.



Filed under short story

Small excerpt from “The Pond”

It was 21.03. As expected he had arrived first. He walked right up to the pond. He looked up. The moon was bright and full. He didn’t like the idea of an arrogant moon, sitting there, lighting up the icy water. A luminous spectator of tonight’s meeting. He wished he could shoo it away.

I hope to have this story completed by the end of the week.

Potential Impatience

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